Storytime – The Fat Friend pt. 2

storytime-the-fat-friend-pt-2

30lbs and 2 pant sizes down

Last week I left you all with the tale of me going down a social media rabbit hole being curious about Bariatric journeys to my discovery of the secret sauce to this weight loss thing. The calorie deficit. While the surgery would help me get thin, it would be a permanent although artificial fix to the underlying issue. Managing my relationship with food and creating a disciplined life around my diet.

Now, most of you have probably heard of, if not tried, all the diets out there. Low carb, paleo, intermittent fasting, Noom, WW (formerly known as Weight Watchers) to name a few. And if you’ve had any success with these diets, its because they cause you to go into a caloric deficit. Think about your behavior when we start on a new diet, we tend to go from one extreme to another and fall into the cycle of “…when start this diet, I will eat as little as possible cutting out everything I enjoy because diet culture has told me that’s what is making me fat.” Does that sound familiar? It’s not the sugar, its not the carbs – it’s over consuming food that causes us to gain weight. You can eat all the healthy food, but if you eat too much you will gain weight.

Diet culture has done a great job feeding us a bunch of crap that entices us spend money on quick fixes. Flat tummy teas, detox plans, juice cleanses, fat burning pills, etc. The true key to sustained success in weight management is and will forever be diet and exercise. Have you ever wondered how a person in a coma loses weight? Or if you’re sick with no appetite you drop a few pounds? It’s because of the calorie deficit!!

Disclaimer: This is what has worked for me. I do not have any underlying health conditions and if you do, please talk to your doctor before starting any new diet or exercise plan.

I’m not an expert, but I have been learning from some so here’s what I know so far. Let’s start by explaining what exactly a calorie deficit is. Before we go there though, let’s define a calorie. A calorie is basically a unit of energy your body uses to function. If you give your body too much energy, it will store this energy for later use in the form of fat. (this is a very over-simplified definition – to learn more Google is your friend) Well, when you put yourself in a calorie deficit, you consume less calories than your body needs so it will go to your reserves (stored fat) and use that energy to help you function. This is how you lose/burn fat.

When you’re in a calorie deficit, the idea is to eat as much food as possible while still losing fat. We’ve all heard the line “move more, eat less”. This ideology sends us into a tailspin cutting out as much from our diet as we can and after a couple weeks or even days we can’t take it anymore so we go back and binge on all the things we were missing out on. We go back to eating the way we did before and typically lose any progress we’ve made and likely put even more pounds on.

The changes to my diet didn’t make me feel like I’m losing out on anything. I started looking at the nutrition labels on my foods to be more informed with what I’m eating. Here’s what I typically look for:

  • Lower calorie swaps for foods and sauces I enjoy such as diet soda, salad dressings, condiments and cheese
  • Fruit and vegetables that I enjoy. Adding these to your diet is amazing for helping you feel full for longer. These foods are typically very low calorie which means you can eat alot of them!
  • Flavor! Season your food well. Most seasonings are zero calorie – just watch your sodium intake if that’s a concern for you
  • Lean protein sources like lean chicken, lean ground turkey and lean ground beef. Having a diet that is high in protein is going to help you feel satiated longer and will help you maintain muscle mass.
  • Lower calorie dessert options – trade your ice cream for frozen yogurt or milk chocolate for dark chocolate
  • Supplements like protein powder to help me hit my daily protein goal.

I try to get most of my calorie intake from whole foods – but I still have ‘fun’ foods. I will still eat a burger, pasta, pizza or have cookies and sweets as long as they fit into my calorie goal for the day. I try to pre-track my food so I know exactly what I am eating to hit my goals. If I know I am having a high calorie meal, I will keep my other meals and snacks low calorie to balance it out. Am I perfect every day? Nope. And that is not a goal of mine. No one is perfect. But I can work on being consistent. I try to abide by the 80/20 rule. 80% consistent, 20% grace. That’s being on your game 22 days out of the month. That is doable! The 20% grace is not an intentional freedom, its allowing myself to have a life and maintain my sanity because I have many more things to focus on that trying to hold myself to this impossible standard that will only set me up to fail.

Learning these things about my diet has been life changing. Actually believing that I am in control of whether I reach my goals or not is so powerful when I have felt powerless for so long.

The second part of this whole journey is fitness. The diet piece is the hardest for me to control. I found myself being able to show up for a workout more consistently than holding myself accountable for my food intake. But I was also in the dark about what was keeping me from making any real progress. After having my baby girl in 2020 I committed to exercising consistently. I bought a couple pair of dumbbells and found a YouTube trainer I loved and started doing her workouts every morning – 5 days a week. I felt so accomplished that I had been pretty consistent for several months but I just couldn’t get the weight off. This is what actually led to the conversation about the Bariatric surgery because my doctor knew how hard I was working.

In my discovery of the calorie deficit, I also found that strength/resistance training would be beneficial on this journey and it turned out to be hella fun! As a girl who has lived her life in a larger body, finding exercise that I enjoyed and felt capable of doing consistently was always a challenge. When I tried my first ‘strength’ workout a fire was lit in me. I felt so strong and powerful and capable I couldn’t wait for my next workout. So I continued to progress through my at home equipment and then risked it all and joined a gym.

Now, for anyone who has stepped inside a gym, no matter how you look, it can be extremely intimidating and anxiety inducing. After a conversation with a friend of a friend who’s a trainer she recommended a gym that’s close to me. I set up an initial consultation and signed on the dotted line. I knew this would be something that would be HARD for me, but I was committed to the cause and was willing to do what I needed to do to be successful. I figured it would be ‘easier’ to become familiar with the gym if I had a buddy in the form of a personal trainer. It was expensive AF, but again I was committed and I knew this would force me to show up. I could work on my form and strength all while building my confidence in the gym. I showed up on the first day, heart racing and distracted by my own thoughts and I surprised my trainer. He underestimated my strength and commitment and that drove me to continue that with every session. As the fat friend, I ENJOY breaking down the unwarranted boundaries that people perceive about me. I’m fat, but I am strong as hell and I am fiercely committed to getting stronger! I joke at each training session that he’s training me to be a power lifter. Don’t give me a ‘damn girl’ in our session – I am on top of the world!

Not only is throwing heavy weight a good time, it’s actually extremely helpful for life in general and toward my goal of losing fat. I can hold my daughter for longer, I can carry all my groceries in less trips, I can pick up heavy things without injuring myself, my sex life is better and I’m less creaky!

Some other benefits to strength/resistance training are:

  • Increased metabolism
  • A more ‘toned’ defined physique
  • Functional strength
  • Managing chronic symptoms
  • Greater mobility and flexibility

If you’ve stuck with me through this long-winded post, just know I appreciate you! This entire journey has revealed so much in me and I feel so good about my progress knowing I am in FULL control of my success or failure. You can do this as long as you are committed, patient and refuse to give up on yourself. These principles can also be applied to any part of your life – building a business, parenting, corporate careers, the list goes on. I am dedicated to making sure that I’m no longer the Fat Fabulous Friend, but I’m just the friend with great style and a fat ass!

If anything in this or the last post has been helpful, please drop me a line and let me know! Subscribe and join me on this little journey through my thirties and beyond. Love you to the moon and back!

xo, Siara

Here are just a few influencers who have awesome content and have helped me on this journey! Check them out and give them a follow. 🙂

4 Comments

  1. Pasley Adams

    Love love love! You looK amazing bro! This is so dope. Thank you for taking us on your journey. Keep kicking ass! -Pas

    16 . 08 . 2022
    • Siara

      Thank you for reading and I so appreciate your support!

      17 . 08 . 2022
  2. T.Blackshire

    You are the bomb Siara, I told myself yesterday I need to start back exercising, walking and riding my bike. Keep up the great work

    17 . 08 . 2022
    • Siara

      Thank you!! You got this – one day at a time 🙂

      17 . 08 . 2022

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