I turned 39 in February this year, and boy, it’s been a doozy! If you follow me on Instagram (@30nowwhat) I’ve been documenting my discoveries from getting prescription glasses for the first time ever to finding out that my brittle toenails are not as uncommon as I thought! While these had me clutching my invisible pearls, there are some revelations that have been for my good.

As I think about the woman I’ve been becoming and the life I want to create, I’ve had to challenge my beliefs on a lot of things.  This is the final chapter of my thirties—and let me tell you, this decade has *worked me* and *woke me* all at the same time.

From building a career and raising two kids (one teen, one toddler 😅) to rediscovering who I am *outside* of everyone else’s needs and expectations… this season has been about more than just survival. It’s been about a return to self.

So as I move closer to 40, I’ve been shedding the hustle mentality we all thought was necessary to get the life we wanted. These are the mindset shifts I’ve made in my thirties that I’m carrying with me into the next season, on purpose, with purpose.

1. From “Grind or You’ll Fall Behind” to “Rest is a Strategic Reset”

As a young mom and professional, I wore burnout as a badge of honor. I thought it meant I was doing something right – like it was proof of my hustle. Now, as a wife, mom of two, and woman who is no longer running on fumes just to be seen, I treat rest like strategy. I don’t earn it—I protect it.

Rest is how I stay in alignment with who I’m becoming, not what I’m producing.

2. From “What Do I Do?” to “Who Am I Becoming?”

The biggest identity crisis of my 30s actually came from my weight loss and fitness journey. One of the ways that helps me stay on track is taking on the identity of who or what you want to become, before you get there. I’d been defining myself by my output: job titles, to-do lists, and accomplishments. But motherhood—especially the second time around—humbled me. It reminded me that who I’m becoming *inside* matters just as much (if not more) than what the world sees on the outside.

I’m not chasing status anymore—I’m building substance.

3. From “I Have to Do It Alone” to “Support is Sacred”

I used to believe strength meant doing everything myself – I didn’t grow up with a strong support system. Asking for help? That felt like weakness. But these days? Whew—I will outsource, phone a friend, grandparents or ChatGPT, text the group chat, and pray out loud at the grocery store if I need to. I’m no longer wearing struggle like a crown.

Letting people love me in the hard moments *is* strength.

4. From “What If I Fail?” to “What If This Changes Everything?”

This decade taught me to do it scared. Whether it was starting this blog, pivoting my career, or setting boundaries that made people uncomfortable – I’ve had to confront the fear of failure head-on. But I’ve also learned that some of my best growth came *after* I stopped playing small.

Purpose doesn’t require perfection—it requires faith.

These mindsets didn’t arrive overnight. They were born in quiet moments, ugly cries, therapy sessions, spirit-led pauses, and “what now?” breakdowns.

But now, as I stand on the edge of 40, I’m more grounded than I’ve ever been. If you’re also in a season of letting go of hustle culture and choosing purpose, welcome. There’s room here for you, too.

💬 Tell me: What mindset have *you* had to unlearn in your 30s? Let’s talk about it in the comments!