My first series!! *eek* ‘Mommy Diaries’ will be a collection of posts about my experiences being a mom, the good, the bad and the ugly. Being a mom is one of the greatest joys of my life. There is no describing the true, unconditional you give and receive from your child, nothing compares to it.
Often times, I wonder what I did right to be blessed with my beautiful boy! He is a sweet, intelligent, and charming young man that lights up my world…and sometimes makes me want to bang my head against a wall (in all honesty). Again, nothing beats being a mom, but there are those times I ask myself, “What the hell did I get myself into?”
In some weird, over-analytical way I feel as though we are cheating Ethan out of having the childhood we (or more I) have always wanted him to have! We spend a lot of time at home or with family. There is an EXTREME amount of screen time in my house (and for those of you who frown upon excessive screen time, I don’t want to hear you preach…I already feel bad about it!!). Daddy and I are constantly on our devices, Ethan takes his iPad everywhere with him and he now has a PS4 that “Santa Grandma” got for him 2 years ago at Christmas! The problem with this is that there is so much time spent on our individual devices that we don’t spend a lot of time with to each other. Everyone is in their corner doing their own thing. The Aquarius in me loves that…because I love my space, but how is this impacting our kid?
I rationalize it and say to myself, “Ethan brings home A’s and is socially adept, you don’t need to feel bad about letting him play with his devices…he’s a great kid!” Why force a kid to do the things you think they should do as opposed to what they want to do if the kid is checking all the other boxes in life? Most of the time when I feel this way, I call him in the room with me to ask about his day, his opinion on what we should have for dinner, or challenge him to a quick game of Tic Tac Toe! (he will tire of me eventually ‘getting all in his business’ and beg to go back to his room to continue playing Minecraft…the nerve!)
As most parents do, I have that fear that I am eternally screwing him up. We all want to make sure that our kids are better than we are, that they dream bigger and achieve more. There is nothing I can do that will guarantee favorable results, so I can’t stress over other people’s idea of ‘good parenting’. What I can do is try my best to teach him to be a smart young man who is responsible, respectable, confident, and full of joy! Isn’t that what this whole parenting thing is about??? There is no instruction manual…I’m just making it up as I go!
I’d love to hear your POV on this subject so leave a comment and let’s talk. 🙂
Until next time… XO
